Wednesday, March 26, 2014


Jealousy, often referred to as the "Green Eyed Monster", is one of the most painful emotions that a person can experience. It can be obsessive and relentless and can lead to a feeling of being totally out of control. Jealousy is normally triggered by the fear of losing someone upon whom we love, as well as the fear of losing someone who we depend upon for a large range of needs including emotional, physical, financial, and supportive needs. When one feels that an important relationship is being attacked by another outside of the relationship, jealousy occurs. The relationship 'under attack' may not necessarily be a romantic one, but may be a platonic friendship, a parent - child relationship, sibling bonding, or many other types of relationships. Regardless of the type of relationship, the very thought and/or fear of losing someone who provides these relationship needs can be absolutely terrifying, and may cause people to act illogically and irrationally.

Jealously usually has an underlying fact or series of facts that it forms a base upon, and this is past infidelities. Any prior infidelity, distrustful behavior, deceptions, or inappropriate actions is the root for jealousy's growth. No matter how many times the roots are pruned back, until they are all dug up and removed from the minds and the relationships of the parties involved, jealous will continue to grow and regrow. If a process to remove all traces and indications of any prior infidelities is not engaged in and completed, then the malignant jealousy will remain and fester, and will constantly flare up in the most eruptive manner.

At its extreme, jealously is amazingly similar to paranoia. In the mind of the suspicious person, clues seem to pop up everywhere. Certain words, utterances, or simple actions take on dire and frightening meanings. When it is not completely resolved, removed from the lives of those affected, and firmly laid to rest, jealousy can and certainly will commit a relationship to doom. The affected person may not physically leave the relationship, but they will certainly withdraw themselves emotionally and mentally. Love and trust will never survive much less flourish in a garden of mistrust, suspicion, and resentment.

If not resolved and "cured", jealously will not only damage and eventually ruin a relationship but will also take an emotional and a physical toll on the at least one of the people involved. Their self-esteem and emotional wellbeing is going to keep on being deteriorated by the Green Eyed Monster.

Regardless of the type of relationship that is being destroyed, and whether or not the jealousy is founded on truth or imagination, the best way to recover and enjoy your relationship is to once and for all lay the Green Eyed Monster to rest. This is easier said than done, and will require a lot of open and honest communication, as well as the earnest desire of both parties to finally destroy the Green Eyed Monster. The principal key is open, forthcoming, and honest communication. Anything short of totally honest communication will only result in causing more damage to the already doomed relationship.

Assistance in the form of one or more unbiased third party mediators can be extremely beneficial. Seeking professional counseling from experts trained in these types of relationship resolution is highly recommended.

If jealousy is already a steady presence in your relationship, then it is imperative that you and the person(s) involved begin as soon as possible to seek out, destroy, and bury the Green Eyed Monster. Understand that this will most likely be a process that will require the commitment of significant time and effort.

Last but by no means least, when the jealousy and its originating causes have been buried, then everything relating to the cause, actions, and reactions, whether in thought or deed, must also be buried. Every conceivable effort must be made by those involved to ensure that this happens. Once jealousy has been destroyed and buried, there must never be a resurrection of the Green Eyed Monster.